Lolz: Jokes of the day.

1>>A wife suspected her husband for having sex with their maid, so she set a trap for the husband by sending the maid to village for weekend without telling her husband.
At night, the husband told his usual story 'darling, i want to go and watch wrestling match in the sitting room.' he left. the wife silently went to the maid's room lying on the bed naked with no light, he opened the door, joined her on the bed without wasting time and without a word, he had sex with her, after the fifth round she said 'it is enough, i catch you, so this is how you used to have sex with her, you will do two rounds telling me you are tired. five rounds now, you are still demanding for more. The gateman replied. "'sorry madam, i don't know you are the one. LMAO! .........

JAMES: I saw a strap of your bra..
TEACHER: James Getout!,no class for u 4 a week!. *Another Boy laughs*
 TEACHER: Why did u laugh?? BOY : i saw both straps of d bra
TEACHER: GETOUT, no class 4 u for 1 month!.. *Teacher bends down 2 pick chalk & johnny started walking out..*
TEACHER: Johnny, why are you going out? JOHNNY : what i saw just now, I think my school days are over!!!!! ... LMAO!!! .......

A pastor and a church sister were Being Intimate under a tree,not knowing,a smoker was up on the tree hiding & smoking. After the act, the sister asked the pastor, did u use condom? Pastor: no!!!! why? Girl: supposing i get pregnant who will take care of the baby? The pastor replied,``let's leave it to the one above. Suddenly the smoker jumped down and shouted, U DEY CRAZE? LEAVE WETIN 4 WHO? NA ME bleep AM? .........

 An old farmer wrote 2 his son in prison. Dis year I wont b able 2 plant potatoes cos I can't dig the field, I knw if u wer here u would help me. D son wrote back, Dad, dont even think of diggin d field cos dat's where I buried d money I stole. The Police read d letter & d next day d whole field was dug by police lookin 4 d money but nothin was found. D following day the son wrote again, Now plant ur potatoes, Dad..It's the best I can do frm here...! ........

 A man and his wife were in court for divorce, the problem is who gets the custody of the child. THE WIFE... jumps up and says, your honour I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody...... The Judge turns to the husband and asked what he has to say.! THE MAN.. then said calmly "your honour, if I put my ATM card into an ATM machine and cash comes out... whose cash is it....... the MACHINE OR MINE"?? ......

 A naija lady dat married a chinese guy were lucky 2 have a baby girl after 9months of marriage. But after 3months d baby died and the mother of the nigerian lady came to visit them, but she was just shouting; i knew it! i knew it! i knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! , And so on. And then a man that noticed her shouting, now called her outside and asked her wat she knew and she replied; i knew that china product does not last!!! Nawa oo!!!

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Unbelievable! Bride Publicly Suck Hubby’s Pen!S At Their Wedding Party (Watch The Video)

Few days back, the video of a groom took over the internet as he was simulating sex with a female guest at his wedding. Over the weekend, the picture of a bride also simulating sex with her hubby in front of guests at their wedding party.

Well, this is another wedding game. A newly-married bride was filmed simulating a sex act on her husband during a bizarre wedding game as cheering guests watched. The half-naked groom stands on top of a table with some kind of toy between his legs before his wife kneels down. She then moves towards her husband’s crotch and appears to put her mouth around the toy.

But suddenly fluid spurts out and lands on the floor as a shocked audience including a young boy looks on. The wife in her red wedding dress then goes in for another attempt sending cheers through the room as the creamy goo appears for a second time.

Watch full video below:-

watch here
What a game to play at your wedding!

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OMG!!! Russia Unveils ‘Satan 2’ Missile Image That Can Wipe Out The Whole World Including Nigeria (See Photos)

Russia has unveiled chilling pictures of its largest ever nuclear missile, capable of destroying an area the size of France.

The RS-28 Sarmat missile, dubbed Satan 2 by Nato, has a top speed of 4.3 miles (7km) per second and has been designed to outfox anti-missile shield systems.

The new Sarmat missile could deliver warheads of 40 megatons – 2,000 times as powerful as the atom bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.

Scroll down for video Russian President Vladimir Putin is reportedly planning to replace the country’s older SS-18 Satan weapons with the new missiles amid a string of recent disagreements with the West. The Kremlin has stepped up the rhetoric against the West and carried a series of manoeuvres that has infuriated politicians in the US and UK.

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New Judge For Nnamdi Kanu's Trial Is Buhari’s Sister - IPOB Cries Out

The Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, Tuesday, expressed total rejection of Justice Binta F.M Nyako as the new trial judge of its leader, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu.

Justice John Tsoho who was handling the trial had resigned from handling the case, having being accused of bias. However, in a press statement issued by IPOB’s spokesman, Comrade Emma Powerful, he said Kanu would not get justice if tried by Justice Nyako.
The statement reads:

“The IPOB raises alarm over the assignment of the new trial judge for Nnamdi Kanu. The appointment of Justice Hajiya Binta F.M Nyako as the trial judge for Mazi Nnamdi Kanu’s case was masterminded by the government President Muhammadu Buhari.

The appointment came after the harassment and the intimidation of the judges who were working tirelessly to address the country’s injustice, perpetrated by the government of the day in Nigeria.”He claimed that “Justice Hajiya Binta F.M Nyako was born on 14th day of May 1959; she is a sister to the president of Nigeria, 
Muhammadu Buhari; her state of origin is Katsina and her local government is Rimi. She became a judge on the 28 day of July 2000, and married to a man from Taraba state.

“The government of Nigeria assigned the case to her to make sure she jails Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, who committed no crime against anybody in Nigeria.

We are calling on international community and other wonderful men and women across the globe to mount their watch on the new trial judge assigned to be handling the case concerning the leader of the indigenous people of Biafra, IPOB.

Furthermore, we want to let the world understand that she has started by using the same date the ECOWAS court fixed, which is8th of November 2016.

In line with this, the indigenous people of Biafra IPOB worldwide believe that there is no amount of blackmail, propaganda and intimidation that can stop the agitation for the Biafra, which God Almighty has ordained.”

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